Why is Marriage A Lot Like
A Puzzle?
Let me share with you an analogy that
I came up with about marriage. Two people looking for a relationship is a lot like two
people each with a half box of puzzle parts. Both are striving to complete the big picture
of what they envision their project to be like. There are no right or wrong shapes
(qualities) to the pieces, only more or less appropriate for one another (this is a great
correlation to qualities within people). And when you try and force a piece together that
really does not fit, the edges get frayed and holes appear in the picture. And because the
pieces don’t fit snugly together when you go to pickup the puzzle (stress on
relationship) it falls apart easier. So how does love fit in all this you may ask? Love is
the shellac that you put on the puzzle when it is complete in order to make the cracks
disappear between the pieces. It does not work well as a filler to fill in areas where the
pieces don’t truly fit well. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, marriage... How does that fit
in here? Well, marriage is when you put your completed puzzle up in a frame and proudly
display your accomplishment to the world. |
In Sickness And In Misery?
Many people confuse the act of marriage with the
emotional commitment that should have taken place long before stepping up to the altar. Do
I believe that marriages or relationships for that matter are hard and take work? Most
definitely!!!! Does that mean that you have to commit to accepting continual hardships?
Does it mean that it should be a tolerance test only for the sake of the commitment? I
don’t think that’s what God had in mind. The right relationship should not be a
hardship. It should be, for the most part, a joy!. Sure there will be trying periods where
you will want to kill each other, but most of the time it should feel as if you were meant
to be together. |
Credibility is EVERYTHING!
For a couple to be good
parents I believe that it is essential that they agree and are compatible on the basics.
In order for a child to respect marriage they must want to have what their mother and
father have from their relationship. Argue and send conflicting messages to your children
and they will have no respect for you and the perception of marriage you represent.
Without their respect you have no credibility. Without credibility you have no rapport
with them. They will believe what they friends say and ignore your wisdom and insights.
That’s when you lose control and start blaming it on TV and raps songs. Your
relationship with your child is the most important thing you will ever do for this world.
The question is, when you look back at your children will they be a part of the problem or
a part of the solution…. Think about it! |
"We’re staying
together because of the kids…"
Everyone
thinks that they should "stick it out because of the children". I believe this
to be naive and NOT in the best interest of children. They can see the lack of affection,
love and feelings that are missing. Children are a lot more perceptive than we give them
credit for. A divorce is sometimes the best thing that a child can see about a
failed relationship. It shows them that what they saw was not the way a good marriage is
supposed to be. Many kids grow up saying if that’s what marriage is about I’d
rather be single. When are we as a society going to start realizing the value of knowing
our needs and wants in relationships? Additionally, when will we realize, that as human
beings we need to learn about ourselves and who we really are. |
| |
| I'll be adding
more as I answer e-mails and more thoughts are provoked. Hope no one was offended. This is
just me… |
| Proceed to Contact Page |
© 2003 